The Six Stages of Not Getting A Second Interview When You Thought You Would

Approximate time lapse-- one hour

STAGE ONE: SHOCK

 

WHAT!?!  I didn't get the second interview?  Why the hell not?  What did I do wrong?

STAGE 2: PANIC

I'm never going to get a job!!!  My family is going to end up living in a cardboard box.  I better start practicing tying a stick and bindle.  It's a good thing my daughter already knows the word "hobo" because she'll be hearing it a lot.

STAGE THREE: CRYING

*sob*

STAGE FOUR: ANGER

  

I have a freakin' 4.0 in grad school, volunteer and leadership experience out the wazoo, and worked two years in this exact field.  What more could they want, the ability to turn coal into diamonds with my fists?  Laying golden eggs? 

STAGE FIVE: RATIONALIZATION

I bet I was over qualified.  They probably wanted people with only a bachelor's degree.  That lady interviewing me was scared that I would take her job in three years.  

STAGE SIX: HUNGER

 

 You know what I haven't had in forever?  Poptarts.

Stage five and six look very similar to the untrained eye.