Monday, July 26, 2010

The Bald Psycho aka Evil Dr. Porkchop aka Dad

My dad loves nicknames.

It really started with my second cousin, Brooke.  My dad used to call her Brook Trout, then just Trout.  She would get upset and start loudly insisting, "MY NAME IS NOT TROUT.  MY NAME IS BROOKE, AND I AM NOT A FISH."

Of course, my dad would just look at her and respond, "Whatever you say, Brook Trout."

All the other little kids in our big extended family soon got nicknames.  There's Mouse, Monkeyboy (who actually is rather proud of his nickname), and Cowbell or Bananaslug.

For a time, my dad was known as The Bald Psycho.  This was more of an accidental nickname rather than one purposely chosen.  We were vacationing in Florida with our extended family.  One of my aunts has a boat, and we were discussing bringing the boat up to shore near a bald cypress tree.  A little cousin was listening to us discuss this and wondered out loud why were talking about his uncle that way.  Turns out when he was listening to us talk about the "bald cypress", he was hearing "bald psycho".

And of course he assumed we were talking about my father.

A bunch of my family came to visit us this weekend and the kids decided to plan a nickname counter-strike against my father.  Trout, Mouse, Monkeyboy, and Bananaslug would not take the abuse anymore!  They put their twelve hour car trip to good use to make a difficult decision:  what to call their uncle.

The moniker "Chicken Nugget" was discussed and discarded.  The next idea was "Porkchop" but that wasn't quite right.  All of the kids had recently seen Toy Story 3, so Porkchop naturally turned into....


Okay, so he doesn't look particularly evil.  Nor is he a doctor unless you count the juris doctorate.

But fits.

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