Friday, March 19, 2010

The Ten Mommy/Facebook Commandments

So you're a mom now. You're excited about your little bundle of joy and want to share every detail about him or her with the entire world. The problem: you may be oversharing. I've decided to post 10 easy rules about how to use social networking sites without annoying all of your friends. Most of these are inspired by this blog.

1. Don't post photos of poop, placenta, vomit, or your child's bits. The first three are just gross and disturbing and the last is for modesty's sake (and for preventing those pics from being seen by creepy pedophiles).

2. Don't get into details about poop or spit-up. You will have multiple conversations with your significant other about the consistency, color, and timing of your child's bodily functions. But the rest of the world does not care.

3. Don't let yourself get lost in your baby's life. While being a mom is tons of work and incredibly important, your friends want to know how YOU are doing. Comment on what you thought about this week's Lost. About a good dinner you enjoyed. About how you stubbed your toe.

4. Some details about your baby are (gasp) kind of boring. There are maybe three people that want the intricate specific details about your baby's life. Your baby said his/her first word? That's cool, share it. Your baby ate peas today? Not so interesting or particularly important.

5. Don't be a photo glutton. Make a 365 blog if you take that many photos. Don't post album after album of the exact same photo taken at a slightly different angle. Your baby is darling, but we don't need 40 identical photos to confirm that.

6. Don't mommyjack. Mommyjacking is when you turn the topic of every conversation into a complaint about being a mom. Your single friend complains about how tired she is because she stayed up late partying? "I wish I could party like that, you should try staying up with a BABY." Your friend is worried about her sick dog? "Just wait until you have a BABY then you'll know what worrying is." This behavior is rude and unnecessary.

7. The occasional vent is okay, the perpetual whine is not. Being a mom is hard work. If every single day you are posting about how difficult it is, how tired you are, and how you need a break--perhaps it is time to call Grandma and Grandpa, a friend, your husband, and take that break.

8. Breastfeeding is beautiful, natural, and a wonderful bonding experience for both you and your baby. But your old college roommates do not want to hear about your chapped nipples or clogged ducts. Find a mommy message board, go to a La Leche League meeting--there are more appropriate venues to discuss breastfeeding woes and get support for any problems you have.

9. Don't complain if you're not getting special treatment. The world is full of mommies and children. You may get glared at when your child is screaming in the grocery store, even if there is nothing you can do about it. People may not get out of the way of your stroller, so you'll politely need to ask them to make room. Neighbors may be mowing their grass while your baby is trying to nap. None of these things are the end of the world, nor should they invoke rage filled rants on Facebook.

10. Be careful about what you post. Identifying information = not a great idea. Keep your Facebook set to private so that only friends can see your photos.

I actually have two Facebook pages, one for myself and one for Mo-Mo. I post a couple of the best photos every month on mine and talk about her when something incredibly exciting happens, like she said "Mama" for the first time. On her site, I post videos, more photos, and less exciting updates like her height/weight statistics or how she reacted to solid food for the first time. I didn't ask anyone to "friend" Mo-Mo but told people about it, so it was up to my friends and relatives to "friend" her.

1 comment:

  1. I know someone who mommy-jacks EVERYTHING, on facebook since that;s the only interaction I have with her. Status's, wall posts, everything! It is annoying