The Reoccurring Kind

I have reoccurring dreams. I go through years of having the same sort of dream, over and over again. There's been five of them--and I'm comfortable sharing four of them.

1. Teeth Falling Out

Apparently this is one of the top ten most common dreams. I had this dream throughout high school and college. A tooth would feel loose, I'd wiggle it, and it would fall out. Then another, then another. It got to the point when I'd start to think in my dream, "Oh crap, this is exactly like my dreams!"

Symbolism? There's a bunch of crap on the internet with various theories, but I think it was general anxiety about growing up and figuring my life out.


2. Ex-Boyfriend giving guilt trips


Basically it's a dream about my ex-boyfriend laying various guilt trips on me. He's dying of cancer and it's my fault, I ruined his life and it's my fault, blah blah blah.

Symbolism? I had a difficult break-up with my high school and college sweetie--and I felt bad about it. This one is a no-brainer.

3. Students run amok

This one started when--yeah, obvious--I started teaching. I still have it on occasion. My students just stop listening to me. First in little ways, like they won't get back into their seat. Then they start misbehaving more and more until they're making out with each other and running into the hallway and having fights (I taught middle school). I can get each one to behave if I focus on the individual but that doesn't help the group chaos--and as soon as I move on to the next, the first starts misbehaving again.

Symbolism? Teaching is hard. I fear the loss of control. And there are just some kids who give you nightmares.


4. Airports

This one is my more recent reoccurring dream. I'm on my way someplace awesome: Italy, Paris. I'm struggling to get to my gate on time. I forget my suitcase in the parking garage and have to go back through security to get it, then can't find my car. I'm bringing my cat, Anoosh, with me and she doesn't have a cat carrier. I realize that I forgot my passport at home. I forgot diapers and formula for my baby.

If by some miracle I make it on the airplane (which my dream has actually let me do once or twice), I always have a connecting flight to make. I never actually get to my destination.

Symbolism? My life is currently in a holding pattern as I try to get done with school and get back into the "real world". It's hard. I have a lot of things to juggle. And I can't wait to get there.

Keeping my mind off it

Tonight we Ferberize.

This means that we're putting Mo-mo to bed and trying to teach her how to self-soothe herself to sleep rather than rocking her. This translate to a lot of crying.

Before the holidays, she was sleeping through the night in her own crib with no problem. During Christmas and traveling she got used to co-sleeping with Batman and me. This last month she's been waking up between 2-5 a.m. and coming back to bed with us.

I wouldn't mind it except for two reasons: 1) She a restless sleeper. She kicks and rolls and I generally don't get much sleep. 2) Our animals wake up at 6 a.m., and Mo-mo usually wakes at 7 a.m. The pets wake her up an hour earlier when she's in our bed and it throws her off for the entire day.

So anyway, I'm listening to her cry and waiting until I can check on her again. The idea is to let them cry for a certain amount of time before checking on them. This process is a bitch but I'm told it gets better.

So I figured I'd give you all an update of The List. (It totally deserves capital letters.)

8. Send out five job applications by Feb 1, 2010 (1/5)
God, I hope I have job lined up before we graduate.

27. Organize recipes.
I bought a binder, dividers, and plastic sheet protectors. I am organized!

64. Frame 4 photos (4/4)
I kind of cheated with this one. Batman got a mosaic photo frame for Christmas, so we technically have 8 framed photos now. It looks great in our bedroom.

71. Complete the 30 day shred
This is not going to happen anytime soon. That damn video is HARD. I'm going to do the EA Sports 30 Day Challenge first, then try it again. Yes, I am a wuss.

74. Drink nothing but water for two weeks
One week down, one week to go. I really really really want a glass of wine. Or a diet coke.

89. Give blood at least three times (0/3)
I have an appointment to give blood on Tuesday.


I hope this gets better. It's tough listening to her cry. Poor baby. Poor Mommy and Daddy, too.

Yet another update

I've accomplished some more of my goals.

10. Breastfeed until Ellie is at least six months old.
Formula feeding is okay. Not great, not wonderful.

31. Finish the cross stitch cats for Carol
I deserve HUGE kudos for this one. I started this without realizing how big of a project it would be. I think I began working on it over two years ago.
Here are the finished products:


And because this lone photo can't begin to describe how awesome they turned out, here are some close-ups. For any person who does not know what cross stitch is, it's making an image out of tiny little stitched "X"s. Yes, every single one of these "pixels" is a hand-stitched X.

They are throw pillows with my stepmom's three cats: Bounce, Feather, and Marigold. I had the pattern created online from photos.




32. Learn to make an excellent crab bisque
Lobster bisque totally counts.

I've made progress towards:
70. Collect five more Painted Ponies (2/5)
Whoo-hoo for accomplishing goals!